I’ve been going so crazy lately. I’ve been confused and sad internally, but it’s crazy because I just got back from experiencing one of greatest spiritual highs of my life.
Myself and my roommates just recently came back from Morocco this past week. And boy, was it something (I’ll go more in detail during a later post).
SO. MUCH. BIGGER.
People always say that the first time you leave the country, it’s like a whirlwind. The world seems so much bigger than downtown Cincinnati, Clifton, and Over-the-Rhine. Well, it’s true the world is SO. MUCH. BIGGER. So much bigger than all my problems, all my experiences, all my cookie-cutter post-graduate goals, so much bigger than ME and it scared the crap out of me. So much so that I’ve been in a spiritual cocoon lately. I’ve been trying to process bits and pieces of my trip and understand why it is that I feel so disconnected from everything around me now.
One Scoop or Two?
It’s really hard to put into words but, it’s sort of like this: Everyone has their favorite ice cream flavor right? Well, mine is a combination of cookies and cream and butter pecan. I Love these two ice cream flavors, so much so that I REFUSE to believe there is anything better than cookies and cream and butter pecan ice cream because well, that’s just the way it is ( excellent logic, I know).
But, imagine a day came where just by coincidence, you happen to taste a new flavor of ice cream that just completely changed everything you thought you knew and loved about cookies and cream and butter pecan ice cream.
Imagine this new ice cream flavor completely turned your world upside down and opened up your perspective on ice cream flavors, life and everything in between. Now, this isn’t some corny post about ice cream so for all my ice cream lovers out there, I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my dairy loving, high fructose corn syrup bleeding heart. ❤
But. . .
I’ve been in this weird spiritual cocoon lately because my world was rocked so much in Morocco ( through experiences, the culture, the amazing children we met during our time volunteering) that it completely changed everything I thought I wanted out of my life, and the kind of path I wanted to take concerning my career goals, aspirations, etc. And that my friends, is the scariest possible thing I’ve experienced to date.
What’s more scary than not knowing? Trusting.
This is something that I’ve always struggled with and still struggle with to this day. I think the older I get, the more and more relevant it becomes as I have to make tougher life decisions. I feel so out of touch without a road map to guide my every decision. Yes, I am a complete control freak in every aspect of my life and yes, I do have plenty to work on. However, Trusting God in leading our decisions and having faith that he will work everything out is so important to our spiritual growth! Even if we don’t know the next step, it’s okay, because he does.
And with that, I’ll leave you guys. As always, pray for ya girl! ❤
Til Next time LoveBugs.